something like time begins to crumble under the bludred moon. it illuminates the blackness. its own shadow shimmering shrunk. it shrank the desert with its gape – the gaping crescent in the blanket of night – it shrank seas, to the deepest depths its pull pooled, spooling, releasing itself, breathing, as it sleeps the tides move upon it’s chest. the dawn-kiss of total stillness. this morning my flesh sat still around my bones, i can feel the hairs extending out of my pores, coarse hairs matt my flesh & broken nails splinter, folds of skin overlap one another & dust gathers in the corner of rooms.
balls of hair neatly ordered by size & colour underneath floorboards creaking and the murmur of male tones through too-thin-walls. creaks that linger like ghosts.
- UNDER A BLUD RED MOON.
(ist) (hanging flesh like strewn up over curtain rails like bulbous bags of brine soaked rags a great grey cavernous thing a pool of grey water, an aerial view of a pool of grey water with pink socks floating amongst tired fishes)))
(debt) this stuff just hangs off of me I dont remember putting it there and my body doesnt feel connected anymore, and the internet therapists say connection is the reason for living and that I need to expose my vulnerability to get to the ‘me’ in the ‘me’ the inside space thats warm & glowy,
—but dont you think sometimes what if my glowy place is more like a cave or deserted office, blue carpet speckled with pencil shavings. sometimes it feels like my brains been scraped out of my skull this intense hollowness and I am neither sad nor happy and there is a dull ache in my back. Cotton wool brain. I go to work and I do all the processes like a machine I tick off the list for maximum efficiency & this is killing my creativity. & the dust gathers & the debt is accumulating tick tick apply yourself keep your area clean and tidy like this not that, – (please, try to fracture the boring dystopia)—
—fracture the dystopia—
(fawn) inside theres pearls of passionfruit dripping mango sweet on pink lips in bloody skies, fractured rocks glowing gauntlet in endless grey,—– these expansive oceans- the light comes thru my window reflected on stainless steel my warm bed the curtains hang the dust is visible in the sunlight. bits of you and me all entwined together. im trying to get out of my head to the bigger things bigger then me all of this, its half the fight (for the dawnlight)